Strange New World

I am trying something new. I've got an opportunity to be a freelance writer/photographer for an online news/entertainment source. Still have to jump through some hoops to get the ball rolling, but it would be awesome to finally be writing again. I've needed to be writing, but haven't had the reason and energy. This gives me the guilt I need to actually do it regularly. Don't laugh. I know you just checked my history on this blog. With any luck this will cause me to post here more often, as well. Don't hold your breath, though. I can't lose one of the two readers I have. heh heh.

Photo posts.

Damn. I realized I've never posted a link to my DeviantArt work. If you aren't familiar with DeviantArt.com, you really need to check them out. There's some bizarre stuff on their (a big part of why I like it) and the artists are just amazing. It's a convenient place to upload my photography, so I've started doing just that. I've got a bunch of stuff in the queue that needs to be uploaded right now, I just havent found the time as yet. Go check out what I've got, and look around at some of the other artists. It's not just for photography, there are all kinds of visual artists, and even some written word pieces on there.

http://piraticalstyle.deviantart.com/

All Hallow's Eve, 2009

It's approaching faster than I'd like to admit. We've decided on a new turn this year, and have planned to Haunt the garage for the ToT's this year. Witches, wizards and flying ghosts will be in attendance, and that's before the guests arrive.
The space is going to be great this year, and I can't wait for Halloween night. If you are in Castle Rock, Co. this year, stop by and see the show. If you can't get that far down, hit up my friends in Aurora. August and Pandora Rose at DarkRose Manor. They are haunting their entire property. Front and back yards. It's going to look great. Check out their website for directions and sneak previews of the goblins and ghouls.

http://www.wix.com/filialuna/darkrosemanor

Late, as usual.

Not surprising that it has been months since my last post. No excuses. Just on with today's topic.
I'm exhausted. I haven't been sleeping. Well, not without pharmaceutical enhancement, of some sort. I'm missing my family. Not my wife and kids, whom I was missing last week. Well, the wife anyway. She was in AZ to see her Grandfather, who is not doing well. Glad she is back. No, now I am missing my parents, and siblings. I know, that's unusual. The clan is getting together for a bit of a reunion a couple of days after the 4th of July. We can't afford the trip, so I'm not going to see them. Like most visits with family, I'm sure it would be annoying, frustrating, and painful. But still. I'll miss it.
Wife is still not working. I'm trying so hard to be optimistic. For her. I just don't know how long I can last. I don't have the energy. My back is worse than it has ever been. Might be part of my sleeping problem. We have started working out at the local rec center. Don't know if it is helping or hurting. Glad my family is finally interested in health improvement. I was thinking I was the only one. I'm not in great shape, by any means, but I had been cutting my portion sizes and ignoring junk food/sweets fairly well. The wife does an amazing job making sure that we eat healthy at our meals. Probably why I started wanting to take better care of myself.

I'm desperately trying to feed my muse. It's rough going. Got a guitar, and I am taking lessons. Having difficulty finding time to practice. Also, I'm trying to get back into photography. So far, it's slow going, and I don't have the greatest camera. I need to find some 35mm film for my old Pentax.

I hate whining, which is what this feels like, but honestly, that is probably why I started this blog. I needed someplace to vent.

First day of December.

Wow, it's December already. Seems to have come pretty quick this year. I've been up since 4am. We had a huge snowstorm yesterday and I had to come to work early to get it cleared up for school. Now I'm exhausted, but on my fourth cup of coffee.

Strange feelings this time of year. I try so hard to get in the "spirit of the season" and yet I never manage to feel that good. I'm not sad. More upset than anything. Upset at the state of the world, the country, etc. People being killed. People turning on one another. Preying on each other like animals. Worse than animals. Animals only kill in order to survive. Humans kill for pleasure, cause pain for their own joy. Suffering shouldn't bring anyone joy.

As difficult as it is for me to get into the "spirit", I do always look forward to the new Year. It's an opportunity for hope. Hope that things will be better next year. I hope for all of you, that next year is better than ever.

Prop. 8

Alright, this might get me in trouble, but at least it will generate some traffic on my blog.

I think the ban on gay marriage (anywhere) is just wrong.

I'm not going to expand on that point. I'm going to go off on a small tangent now.

All of the people that are up in arms that prop 8 in California made it illegal for homosexuals to marry and are stating that the churches involved (most notable the LDS church, but the Catholic church as well) need to give up their "tax exempt" status... are simply wrong.

The "separation of church and state" in America does not mean that Churches are not aloud to express their opinion, and support the causes they believe in. The damn prop passed. That sucks. It's incredibly disappointing that the close minded managed to pull that off (not by much). The important thing to do now, is strengthen the campaign for gay rights.

*Tangent* Gays shouldn't have special rights, they should have the exact same rights that everyone has. Which are especially, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Getting married to the person you love is pursuing happiness. Regardless of who they are, or you are.

*Back to original* Campaign for the repeal of this atrocity. Support the court case that is, even now, trying to fix this mess. Don't hurt the truth, beauty or RIGHTEOUSNESS of this cause by trying to pin the failure on some other issue. Get out and vote. Get those that believe as you do to vote. We can do this. I have faith.

Thank you.

Post Halloween Blues.

This weekend was a disappointment. Half the family ended up in tears. My wife and I fought. The atmosphere at the house is still tense. I had high hopes this year. (I always do) The weather was beautiful. The fogger and the stereo both worked. Oh well. Maybe next year.

I read a few random blogs the other day. Beautifully poetic. I wish I could right like that. I think there was a time when I could. Now, this is as eloquent as I get.
I think I'm glad no one reads this blog. I want it to be something artistic, deep, meaningful. Mostly, it's just a place for me to vent my anger and frustrations. That said, here I go.

My wife has complained that I have been... inattentive, lately. Yet, when I try to hold her, touch her. She doesn't react. Occasionally she turns away. It seems I am wrong no matter what I do. I don't remember the last time she came to me in an amorous mood. I enjoy being the aggressor in our relationship, but I need her to show me that she wants me. I don't think she does, anymore. Of course, that makes me question whether she ever has. How can I know? I love her. I want her to be happy, more than anything else in this world.
Sometimes I wonder if she would be happier if I were gone.